With a long day on the road ahead of me, I had a tough time shutting my eyes and didn’t sleep particularly well last evening. I can’t understand why I would have any anxiety, but sometimes your body makes decisions that your mind cannot comprehend. Maybe its excitement about the surprises I expect to encounter as we drive through the long stretches of countryside connecting one city to another. I never know what I will see, but always come away with insight into a whole new world that didn’t exist to me a couple weeks ago. Today, we are traveling from Nha Trang to Quang Ngai. Quang Ngai will be a stopping point for us before we continue on to Hoi An.
The majority of the day is spent aboard the bus peering out at vast amounts of farmland, livestock and rice patties as we drive through one rural area after another. I see many farmers working the rice patties under the hot sun. Their conical hat is their only protection as they toil away with the most basic of farming tools for 10 to 12 hours a day. With such physically demanding jobs and a diet that is heavy on rice and low on nutrients, it is easy to understand why many rural Vietnamese people are thin and frail looking. On one occasion, I see a farmer and his wife plowing their plot of land with only a water buffalo and one simple plow. The water buffalo pulls the plow and the man maneuvers it from behind while his wife plants rice.
As time passes and we drive along, I eventually doze off. I am awakened suddenly when I feel the bus come to a dead stop. Usually, it starts moving again in a moment or two but nothing is happening. I open my eyes, stand and walk to the front of the bus. I see a herd of ducks in front of me. They are veering out across a large section of the road, almost like the blade of a fan. They are slowly crossing the street behind a girl in a conical hat who can’t be more than 10 years old. She is doing her best to keep the herd in some semblance of order. This is a somewhat typical traffic delay in rural Vietnam. It is much more than that to me though. As I stand and watch life unfold in front of my eyes, I realize that this is one of those rare, special moments that you need to fully immerse yourself in to really appreciate. I take a deep breath and feel my body numb, immersing myself in the moment.
At midday, we stop at Qui Nhon, a mid-sized seaport, for lunch. Overlooking a beautiful beach, I have what has become a typical lunch for me – an avocado, tomato and onion sandwich on a French roll. The avocado is as ripe as can be. The more I eat avocado, the more I seem to like it. It is becoming addictive.
As we continue our drive up the South Central coast, the mountains surrounding us highlight the beauty of the environment. It is amazing to see how lush the land is in this area given the stress it went through during the wars of the past.
Over the course of our long day of driving, some conversation ensued regarding Vietnam’s relations with China. Historically, Vietnam has had poor relations with China. In fact, despite their close proximity, the history they share and the fact that they are both communist countries in the same region, Vietnam is more closely aligned with Russia than China. The relationship between Vietnam and China has slowly improved, but the Vietnamese still greatly fear the Chinese due to their size, power and close proximity -- they are bordering countries. This is most likely a positive step as the downfall of communism in Russia has left Vietnam without a powerful ally that could assist them if a conflict with China were to arise.
It would be an understatement to describe the roads we are driving on as ‘in need of upkeep’. They are incredibly bumpy and Qui is doing one hell of a job making sure we stay upright. After a couple hours of driving, I decide to move up to the “cockpit” and sit in the front with Qui so that I can get a bird’s eye view of everything that he encounters on the road.
Wow! Some of the potholes we encounter are frighteningly large. Failing to avoid these crater size potholes would undoubtedly result in a blowout, at the very least. There are horribly overcrowded buses that erroneously navigate between 2 lanes of traffic, providing more hazards for Qui to avoid. Throw into the mix scooters, bikes and an occasional cyclo and I feel like we are playing a real live game of Frogger. The roads aren’t very wide either so there is very little room for error. I find it amusing that some of the people on the bus act surprised when we hit a large bump in the road that gives them a jolt. It makes me wonder if they have been seeing the same things I have for the last week. As we drive along amid the chaos surrounding us, I look out the window to my left and see a half naked man urinating off of a mound of clay that divides 2 lanes of traffic. I am shocked and surprised. Seeing a man standing between two lanes of traffic is surprising enough, but the fact that he is urinating onto the road is astounding.
We arrive at the hotel at 7 PM, and quickly head downstairs to the hotel restaurant for dinner. As much as I despise eating at hotels, we are all tired and no one feels like venturing off of the premises. As I expect, my meal is average. I have a cuttlefish and vegetable dish that is nothing special. It isn’t the first time I have had cuttlefish and I have definitely had better.
Rumor has is that this hotel is well known for having an excellent massage parlor. I have been ruminating about this subject for many days now and my discussions with Sebastian, while entertaining, have also made the topic of massage one that is never far from my thoughts. I do want to get a rub down and feel foolish for making such a big deal about it, but I also know about the ‘extras’ that are frequently offered in these massage parlors. I am conflicted because I don’t know what I really want. Maybe I want to be with an attractive Vietnamese woman who fawns over me and perhaps I want to be with her regardless of whether I am paying her for her services or not. On the other hand, I have never paid a woman to spend intimate time with me and have never had any reason to think that I would want or need to. What I do know is that I am attracted to Vietnamese women and this attraction seems to grow every day when I meet random women who seem to be drawn to me. After all, if a woman shows attraction towards you, your attraction towards her usually rises incrementally. Being alone and single, I am forced to ask myself if I have the desire and will power to fight off a persistent, sweet and attractive woman that massages my body and then insists on taking the massage a bit further for 5 or 10 extra dollars. For now, I am making the decision to delay having a massage until I am in a better state of mind. Hopefully, that state of mind will come.
With a couple of hours to spare and nothing to do, I sit down on a chair in the lobby and attempt to read. I read a few pages in my book but can’t concentrate. I am antsy and feel the need to walk around. I walk around the hotel and eventually find myself outside the entrance to the massage parlor. I look inside and walk on, wondering if any of my fellow travelers are inside. I walk back and forth and linger around the massage parlor entrance like a child, just looking for a reason to enter the shop. Finally, my pacing outside the parlor entrance gets the best of me. I think to myself, “What the fuck am I doing?” At this point, I open the door and walk inside. I approach the counter and look at the menu of services offered. After a minute or two, one of the women directs me towards a barber chair and tells me to sit down. I haven’t asked for anything at this point and am wondering what will happen next. Another woman approaches me with a pair of scissors in her hands and begins trimming my hair. I don’t want or need a haircut, but at this point it would be more difficult for me to try and explain to her that I don’t want a haircut than it is for me to just let her cut my hair. Eventually, three women are attending to me at the same time. I feel special, very special. The way these women look at me and treat me with such care makes me feel like a movie star. It is highly doubtful that I will ever know what it felt like to be Al Pacino in the 70s or Tom Cruise in the 90s, but I am at least getting a glimpse into that lifestyle tonight. I am flattered as these three women smile at me, touch me with adoration, and try to find out as much about my life as they can. They giggle as they all move around me in a circle at times, each attending to different things. I laugh, I smile and I feel completely relaxed. I am in the moment completely, fully realizing that I may never be privy to treatment like this again. One of the women tells me that I am a beautiful boy.
Quiang is the girl who tells me that I am beautiful. She is also the girl who entices me into accepting a scalp massage. Quiang is one of the most attractive girls I have met in Vietnam. She has a nice figure, a beautiful complexion and long, straight black hair. Not much enticing was needed. She is so affectionate and genuine with her touch towards me. Her sincere attempts to find out about my life with the use of her limited English make my heart melt. I don’t know what the circumstances are in this parlor regarding propositions for other services and am a bit nervous about being put in this type of situation. As a result, I answer ‘Yes’ to the staple question I seem to encounter every day, “Do you have a girlfriend?” I lie.
After I answer Quiang’s question with a lie, my mind is flooded with a litany of questions. I am not entirely sure why I decided to lie to her. ‘Did she ask me that question for business purposes to build relations or does she like me?’ ‘Does she want something to happen between us?’ ‘Does she want me to pay her?’ I guess I am not ready to take life as it comes and deal with the consequences that are part of the decisions one chooses or does not choose to make. Instead, I avoid the situation. Actually, that is a lie too because if I really wanted to avoid the situation, I would be lying in my bed in my room.
As Quiang continues to caress my face and scalp, I crumble and tell her that I think she is beautiful. Quiang gets very shy very quickly. I don’t why I made this comment or where I expect it will take me. We even get out a notepad at one point, thinking that writing may heighten our level of communication. There are many thoughts going through my head. My mind drifts away into fantasy land and I imagine me abandoning my travel group and spending the coming days with Quiang.
I don’t know if Quiang sleeps with men for money and to be honest, I don’t care if she does. I can make no presumption as to how I would live my life if I was in her shoes and will not even attempt to act like I understand. As hard as it is, I do manage to eventually pull myself off of the table where Quiang massaged my scalp so gently and do make my way back to my room. I am alone. I would like to say that I did this because I am a good and honorable man who did the right thing, but by claiming that I would only be trying to make myself feel good.
All I do know is that I left a small piece of my heart with Quiang in this beauty parlor on this evening.
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